if it hurts us, se don't want to keep it inside anymore

My Grandmother was my pimp, Sold forsex

I just realized that I had neglected to wrote about my evil grandmother and how she sold me weekly to men.

I only discovered this around June and July of 2021. Finding this out, changed my life, explained so many odd behaviors and sexual flashbacks. It's tragic. I have never heard of a story this sick and twisted of a grandmother coldly, calmly, calculatingly routinely selling her own 9 year old granddaughter to men.

The following is from a post from July 2021.

I am struggling. My life is one, long, never-ending trigger warning.

My latest hard-to-digest, recently surfaced flashback informs me clearly and concisely that my evil grandmother hired a specialist out of Chicago, for $260 to teach 11 year old me how to be a whore. I can't make this shit up. The "handler" or trainer, would spend 3 or 4 weekends at my grandparents house with us teaching us. The summer I turned 11. From Saturday morning until late Sunday.

WTF

Why

My family decided to put me to work. They agreed I was to be a well-trained whore. How does one even attempt to process such information. 

This is all triggered from therapist's new office. Thank you, fucker.

Yes, some of us are angry, feel forced to deal with this before We were ready. Not our choice or our timing.

Some of us really, really want to not go down this memory lane. It is an ongoing, serious discussion about whether or not to leave therapy completely or just wall off this segment, the whore arena.

I'm transfixed with confusion, debate and angst.

My grandmother and father decided I should become the family whore, mostly to put food on the table and feed my brothers and sisters and parents because dad had a hard time getting and keeping a job.

WTF

Do I do with that?

It all makes sense. It really isn't even outrageous based on all the previous whore memories.

It Explains soooo much of my brokenness, my ill thinking patterns, my complete lack of any self worth.

Come on man

WTF 

Who does that to their 11 year old daughter? To their 11 year old granddaughter. I fucking hate those people. Fucking hate them.

My life, already pretty scattered, further severely damaged at 11.

WTF

Once Beautiful