Friday, January 25, 2019

Switch, the Definition MPD DID

Switch- to transfer consciousness and control of the physical body from one alter personality to another; the process of switching can happen in a split second, or over a period of minutes; a Multiple may switch several or dozens of time in any given day, or go for days or weeks without switching at all; the Personality that is Out, before switching, may: feel dizzy, a sudden headache, the sensation of sinking, get drowsy and sluggish, feel sleepy, or feel nothing at all.
The Personality that is emerging may feel: like they suddenly awoke from a nap or long slumber, confusion and disorientation as to time, place and/ or identity; a rush of adrenaline or that the environment is too bright and loud.
Physically, a Multiple may or may not display any signs that a Switch has taken place as Switching was a defensive tactic and covert. Some Multiples may have a change in eye movement: rapid blinking, dramatically less blinking, eyes may appear glazed over and vacant, or there may be a shift in focal point.
There may be changes in the Multiple's physical body; a change of facial expression, posture shift, softening or hardening of facial features; breathing changes from slow to rapid or vice versa; noticeable change in voice; new gesturing or gestures.
The topic being discussed may rapidly change or have been completely forgotten.

Sunday, January 13, 2019

What is a Switch? What does it feel like to Switch?

Some Multiples go days, weeks, even months without switching whilst others switch a dozen times a day. It varies widely.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

What is a Body Memory?

Since I couldn't find a satisfactory definition of a body memory, I researched and together with my own experiences compiled this info.
Body memories are one of the most challenging aspects of my MPD. The feel of rope on my wrists or my foot being twisted so much that I thought my ankle was broke are just two examples that I readily recall.
After a therapy session in which I had coconsciousness for the first time, with one of alters that had been confined in leg braces I could barely walk with serious pain in my lower body. I had separated, splintered from that person and her pain for over 50 years. Reacquainting with that alter brought all of her pain into my present.
I could have seen my doctor for my pain. She would have looked me over, found no specific cause and ordered tests that would have shown nothing.
Unfortunately, the very real pain of body memories can make you feel like your crazy or a hypochondriac. You Are Not. You're not making up what you are feeling.
If possible, sit and acknowledge the pain. Write and write about it. Talk with a therapist. I'm so sorry that anyone else has to suffer with these.
Medication, ibuprofen or pain killers do not touch body memory pain. In order to heal, I needed to feel, acknowledge and tolerate the pain that was unbearable to me when I was younger.
It isn't enough that part of me had to endure excruciating pain once...to heal I have to endure the pain twice.
Dealing with body memories is a humbling and courageous experience.
Peace my fellow survivors. I know your struggle. The struggle is real.

I'm okay

My life revolves around therapy twice a week. Each session takes 2 to 3 days to recover from. Most of the time, I'm sitting, processing ...