Naming Memories

Its unusual for us to have more than one memory floating on the surface with open access. Currently, we have five trauma events being talked about in therapy and written about in journals. To help keep things organized, we have taken to giving each memory a nickname for reference.

Here are three core memories:

Sold- when we were 3 or 4 and our father sold us to his boss. I think it is the first time we saw money being exchanged. Maybe the first time prostituted. Unsure. It was to my dad's commander at the Air Force base he was stationed at. We remember the room, televisionand stand and have discussed some of the details but not all of them.

After this incident, we became afraid of people, men. We didn't want to be touched and it was our first recollection of that.

Shoulder- maybe 4 or so. Our dad shocked us by grabbing our upper left arm and yanking us quickly off the floor. Very scary in a deeply visceral way. Thought our arm was broke. Need to write more about this one, too.

This caused us to feel that our own body was an unsafe place to be in.

Spoon- geez, all these are but semi complete and require much more processing. 

We remember being drugged by our evil grandmother, her brother, my great uncle the priest and my great grandmother was there, too. 

This caused us to be suspicious of all food and drink.

Snuff- around 8 or 9 just like Spoon. First time seriously choked and molested by dad.

That's enough for now.

I need to take some time, focus on one incident and write thoroughly about it.

They do have connections. It's the first time I've discovered how one memory is connected to another, like each memory is an island and I'm building a bridge to each.