Wednesday, December 30, 2020

on being mute

As the noise inside my head slows way down, I delight more deeply in external noises (plus I am not as easily annoyed or overwhelmed by said noises).
It's less difficult to understand the spoken words of others.
Song lyrics, on the radio, suddenly became clear and coherent.
I enjoy the sound of my own breathing. 
I turned off the closed captioning on the television because I can understand what is being said now.
I've run into a couple hurdles. To activate my credit card, I encountered a voice-activated only phone number. In a similar vein, my dentist appointment could not be made via phone, rather I need to show up, written request in hand, and get an appointment made.
Likewise, at the vet, I couldn't park in the lot and call and ask the receptionist to bring out my dog food. Instead, I prepared a written sign, conveniently made from the box of dog food I required, so that the receptionist could easily see what I needed.
In both in-person cases, I was treated with great respect and my errands were successful. 
In some ways being mute is like a layer of protection, a blanket of insulation against the external world. My worries are less. My expectations are lowered, too. I don't have to engage in chitchat or banter. Good overall but at times a hardship.
More positive than negative.
Inside, I feel great calm.
Being mute has its pluses and minuses.

I'm okay

My life revolves around therapy twice a week. Each session takes 2 to 3 days to recover from. Most of the time, I'm sitting, processing ...