One of the biggest problems regarding making friends, is know when and what to say. Is it acceptable to greet a stranger with "hi" that you pass on the street, or who you walk by in your neighborhood.
There are no hard and fast rules. I'm currently experiencing a dramatic cultural shift, as I moved from Michigan to Oregon. People in Michigan routinely Do Not say hi to anyone walking past them.in Oregon, it's usually customary to do so.
It's risky saying hi to strangers as rejection is possible. I'd say its about 50/50 that the other person will respond back in kind. Half the time I end up rejected, feeling sheepish and stupid.
To avoid the problem completely I've figured out a solution, zero eye contact. Yep, if I see someone approaching I avert my eyes, looking down, or if my phone is handy, pretending to look at it.
It's tricky and uncomfortable. I can surmise that it varies regarding location and age plays a factor as well. Used to be that saying hello to a child was acceptable and polite. Now, you can be viewed as a threat if you talk to a child other than your own.
As I am "middle-aged" I find it easier to address others who are in my age bracket or older. The most rejection I've encountered has been with the 20 something crowd of college students.
It's funny, if I walk my dog at night it is almost certain that greetings are exchanged passing by others on the sidewalk. It's kinda like a "nighttime handshake" in that you are expressing "I'm no threat" by saying hello to each other. They, most people, are quite polite herd.
The scariest people I've encountered are the ones I greet who just stare at me like I'm a criminal, invading their space with a cursory remark. Those pensive, hostile faces can haunt me and cause me to use the avoiding eye contact defensive for a spell.
It's like one person ignoring me sets my mood. If I go for a long walk and the first person I speak to ignored me, I'm most likely to not speak to anyone for the remainder of my walk.
At a short distance away, if I see a casual smile, then I know I'm okay to speak. It's sooo...um, unpredictable and risky, stressful and uncomfortable to try and be friendly. Some days I try harder than others.
I don't know if it will ever get any easier.
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