Saturday, July 16, 2022

Early Childhood Incest and Sexual Abuse, a Survivor's Point of View

 

Early Childhood Sexual Abuse, Infancy, Toddler to 5 years of age

A Survivors Point of View

 My earliest memories are of being sexually abused by my father. This was a daily event that happened at least once, often twice ever since I could remember. An adult male using me was completely normal. Until the time I was seven or eight, having an adult male molesting me was not so much emotionally disturbing as it was physically painful. Small child body parts are not intended to being handled roughly and so often. It did not startle or worry me when these regular assaults happened. They were always just a normal occurrence that took place between my dad and me.

I don’t feel like I was traumatized in those early years. Dad and his friends he shared me with, all made it seem like a light-hearted yet odd kind of game to be played. Being used sexually on a regular basis normalized a highly abnormal and egregiously cruel event. My body hurt but my mind, not so much. Even when I would be prostituted at the Christian Men’s Thursday Bible Study and a half dozen men or more required sexual favors, it wasn’t really a problem because they were nice and kind as they were being serviced. There was no force, no yelling, no threats of violence, so I did not mind my job. I actually looked forward to it as some of the men said kind words and were nice to me.

The only times I recall feeling fear and great distress are when the sexual abuses became violent at the hands of unfamiliar perpetrators. My dad could rape me all he wanted, no big deal. But when he handed me off to a stranger and that strange, sick man was less than gentle, it definitely registered in my brain as traumatic and harmful.

Thus, when both my dad and grandmother took it upon themselves to have me work as a child prostitute and service strange men, the tides turned. My father took me to public rest areas and this is where my childhood sexual abuse became more harmful to me emotionally. These were often complete strangers that would take me into secluded, vile-smelling restrooms and use varying degrees of force or violence if they saw fit to. Each man, each criminal pedophile was an unpredictable variable. It turned “turning tricks” into a scary and much feared event with possible serious repercussions to little me. I hated the reststop sex selling. There was a great difference between blow jobs and handjobs for dirty, old Christian men in a nice and clean church basement as opposed to the filth and grime of a guy getting off from work to stop and molest a child on the way home to the wife and kids. The strangers had no reason to be nice. They didn’t have to. No one was watching them, even if dad read them the commonsense “do no physical harm” rules, there was no one to stop them when they were forcing me, grabbing me and being violent. And that restroom trauma happened almost every time I worked the rest areas. It's like a man could appear to be this normal, everyday kindof guy who works hard at his job and loves his wife and kids but once in a while, he likes to get down and dirty and make a child be submissive and overpowered and forced into unspeakable acts. I saw two sides to men. I saw the ugly side that they hide from most.

My dad had gotten me so used to everyday sexual abuse that I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t an awful, terrible thing just another day in my life. I expected it because it happened every single day.

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