It's the little things...the daily stuff that shocks and sends me into overload, like spilling hoy coffee on a keyboard and watching the sparks and smoke. I shortcircuited and melted down into a somewhat incoherent, panicking hot mess. That was hours ago. My head's still ringing. Can't go into the kitchen without the feeling that the sink is on fire and I have to run.
So, what exactly happened? It's so usually innocuous that hesitate. That plus my lips restart uttering nonsense tics at the thought of writing.
I'm just going to simplify here...i dropped a couple of spoons, accidently into the garbage disposal, turned it on, horrendous racket, count turn it off right away, finally I turned it off and ran (screaming only on the inside) out my front door like the house was on fire. I bolted. I shook, stammered, quaked. Felt like I'd drank 10 cups of coffee and couldn't talk right or think straight. I hailed a maintenance guy to remove the busted silverware.
I ain't been right since. Settling back down is taking awhile. That was 12 hours ago. I just tried washing the last few dishes but flew into a panic again. Still reacting.
Just wanted to write about one of the difficulties of my everyday waking life.
Still very rattled. Just have to wait till it all calms down.
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