Nothing to nobody

I beat Lyme Disease, I survive and thrive

I beat Lyme disease 100. I can't help but wonder if my body now contains antibodies to this disease. If you know, please let me know!
In May 2013, I was diagnosed via the Western Blot test. I spent 2 years living on my couch, barely able to move much less walk. Some days I managed to get to the grocery or an appointment with my cane, other days I didn't have enough strength to get up.
After vehemently researching and asking my doctor for various meds, my symptoms began to recede. I was in a highly toxic and unhealthy relationship, as well. No sooner did I inform my ex that I was leaving and my symptoms all beat a hasty retreat.
I am 100% cured of Lyme!!! I have zero residual symptoms.
Healing is definitely possible!!!
My other blog Aspergers and the Alien, contains an assortment of posts which detail both my struggle and my healing.
I really wish I knew if my bloodstream contained antibodies that, given the correct laboratory treatment, would help sufferers fight off the disease or, maybe even a vaccine could be created.
I wish I knew a scientist to ask.
Your thoughts?

Eclipse Reverie...poetry

Eclipse Reverie
*
Nothing could have prepared me
For the moment
Night's curtain fell
Mid-day
*
Like a flower
Crushed
In Luna's palm
Extracting Sol's inner essence
To the brim
*
Fiery orb
Once powerful, omnipotent
Now snuffed
Eclipsed
Riding in the backseat
*
Frenzied wave
Proceeded the blow
Uncertainty rolled
Like a drunken fool
Confusing fowl
Silencing leaves
*
Majestic sky coupling
A chaotic embrace
Eerie, iridescent
Shimmering jewel
*
Cast into
A glomourous shadow
I shuddered
It felt like
The moment before dying
*
Darkness receded
The event
Forever etched
Stoic silence
*
The sky, no longer appears
Sane
I feel betrayed
By sights, senses
Once trusted
*
I question my own
Mortality
My sense of stability
Quakes

I Am David, My new favorite movie, a review

Being Autistic, there are few movies that I can whole heartedly relate to. "I Am David" is the exception.
Truth or fiction, doesn't really matter. This is the story of a young boy, who doesn't know how to smile and has experienced profound loss, abuse and neglect. He is completely on his own. I Get This.
He's taught the world is a terrible place, that there is no safe place and people are cruel. It's all he knew for his early years. He is told to trust no one and can't recognize good people from bad. I Get This.
People pry with that introductory question "where's your family?" It's like, the universal neurotypical greeting because the majority of persons have someone that loves them, misses them and is waiting for them at home. David has no one. Yes, I can relate. A child completely on his own, uncared for and unmissed.
It's a rarity to find a film with a plethora of parallels to my own life and suffering.
And the hope...the wish of finding someone that...genuinely, unconditionally cares...wow. I cried buckets.
Other characters continue to note how odd his eyes, so deep, like he's seen and experienced wounds no child should know. The seriousness of his face, devoid of any childlike innocence.
I love this movie. I positively love it from my heavily biased position.
I can relate.

I talk with my hands, I can read my distress

My hands are the external barometer for any internal distress. If I awaken, as has been the case for a week now, with flapping or shaking hands, I know that I am above the ordinary limit of sensory overload and high stress. Those days are best spent laying low, in bed or quietly hiding in my room.
Throughout any given day, I am given the gift of hands that portray my inner turmoil or calm. All I need do is become aware of what my hands are telling me and seek shelter in flapping storms.
The other hand sign is when my fingers are splayed, straight, unmoving rigid and stiff. This means I can no longer process any new information and I need to shutdown. It's like muscle tension tells me how high my distress is.
Oh, I'm still not fluid with words...but I had this to say, eloquent or naught.

Moving to a New House, Autism, Aspergers and Mutism

I moved to a huge townhouse from a small, cramped one bedroom apartment last week. I have rarely been able to talk since as I am thoroughly overwhelmed by, well, everything. I haven't been able to speak to my therapist or friends about this heap of issues.
My Mutism..its like, I'm standing at the top of a mountain full of fears, concerns, questions and comments...if I get these stressors down to a certain level, I can talk. No sooner do I get the levels down then I'm hit with a new conversation, new things I must do and try to understand, then I'm back in mute mode. It's been very sporadic and unpredictable, the times I can talk and the times I can't. It's best to stay inside and avoid the possibility of not being able to speak.
It's embarrassing. The distress from being in a larger place presents a huge number of new issues.
There is finances to manage, figuring out what things can be bought for the house and which can wait. And more, there are so many more issues that I just have a hard time acknowledging and discussing.
My only hope this week is that I'll be able to talk with my therapist. I need to deal with these unsettling, difficult problems or the Mutism will just continue. This is the longest spell whereby I've struggled with my Mutism.
I saw my family doctor last week, mute. It was an interesting and uncomfortable appointment. It's like she put on kid gloves. I communicated via my phone texting. At least I still had words in my head that I could write. The times were my mind goes blank...well, it's difficult, nay impossible to communicate.
I do see that therapy is the answer for me as I have become aware of some underlying issues promoting my Mutism.
Just laying low and taking care of myself.

Aspergers and Selective Mutism