After having been duped, manipulated and taken advantage of for over 10 years by a full blown narcissist, I thought I'd share some of the warning signs:
1) They won't allow you to satisfy them sexually, as that would give you some value and control. They like you to feel inferior, like a failure and this is one tactic they use.
2) Don't bother buying them gifts. They will frown, throw tempertantrums and, again, prove that you are not good enough. Narcissist only want the gifts They want, not the thoughtful ones you have in mind. Always remember how they love power, control and domination. I learned to ask for a gift list and made sure to buy everything on the list.
3) A narcissist will never apologize because, in their crazed, self-absorbed mind, they are incapable of doing anything wrong. It is always someone else's fault and they will blame you, either verbally or secretly, for every little thing that goes wrong. No apologies means you will often get the blame for their mistakes.
4) Narcissist are notoriously bad with money and finances as their motto is "I want what I want and I want it now." Think of the terrible twos that kids go through and apply it to these dysfunctional adults. Bankruptcy, overdrawn credit cards, second mortgages, and, oh, they will hide the bills from you so you don't see their ineptness. They will definitely blame their overspending on you and continue to buy as often as they like.
In a similar note, hoarding of goods and items never used, is quite common.
5) They are emotionally immature and frown or freeze you out, if you display any normal emotions. Controlling their own non-existent emotions requires some effort on their part so don't mess that up by feeling or showing how you feel.
6) They monopolize every conversation. Don't bother taking them to your child's school conference or doctors appointment, as they will simply reminisce about their school experiences and their illnesses not the child's.
7) They love putting you down. Funny, true story, I brought my narcissist for moral support to a Social Security Disability hearing. All they did was slam me, point out every little inability and tear me down with great glee and superiority. It was the exact opposite of support. They enjoy and relish a format whereby they can point out how inferior you are.
8) They simply don't care. If the cat was sick, I could call them at work and they'd rush home. If I was sick and couldn't get to a doctors appointment, they couldn't be bothered to leave work so I'd have to make other arrangements or forget it.
9) They lie and omit the truth with ease and no regret whatsoever.
I'd much rather be single than live with such cruelty. I should have left years ago.
If you see these traits in a partner, Get Out.
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