Reconnecting with earliest memories leads to shift in relationships

I have 5 or 6 relationships in my life which are relevant on a mostly daily basis: God, therapist, son 1, son 2 and new found friend of 2 months. These are the people that matter, have influence and that I feel connection with.

Since the last couple weeks discovery of earliest sexual abuse memories, all these relationships have shifted.

First, I noticed that when I called God's name, which I do on a frequently weekly time-frame, I could not feel that he was near or that I was connecting. It felt like God had disappeared or at least retreated to a considerable and imperceptible distance away from me. Surprising and unexpected for sure. 

At about the same time, I realized that if I never saw therapist ever again, I'd be good with that. It didn't matter one way or the other if I ever returned to therapy. It is a deep feeling, a knowing, a new nonchalantness that I hadn't had before. It wasn't personal. I didn't suddenly not like her. I just suddenly did not need her as much as before. My world had revolved around therapy. Now, it was an adjunct, an extra, not a requirement. 

The friendship is still fresh and new since the holidays. Maybe three months at most. My first friendship in seven years. It's important. I look forward to it. It's a new avenue that only recently opened up. A new place to walk and explore. I have room now to try a relationship like this.

My feelings regarding my sons feels more concrete, reasonable and stronger, easier. I feel even more connected to them than previously.

Revealing long-held memories of childhood sexual abuse produces growth and great change.

I write so I can follow and note all of this evershifting healing.