I've come to fully realize that an intimate relationship is not in my hand of cards. The amount of effort, energy and time required to find someone isn't going happen in my world. The very real fear of another abusive, toxic relationship can be avoided by not putting myself out there as wounded bait.
I'm Not Looking.
Unless an Act of God, a Godthing puts the right, healthy person directly in my path and shines a holy light on their head, I shall not be looking for love.
I accept the fact that I'm rather broken. I live each day awash in damage done. I work to heal and fix myself as much as the scars can be lessened.
It doesn't make me angry or upset, as this is simply where I am at. I can look in the mirror and see who I am.
I can look at my past and see the trouble, the dysfunction and damage caused by loving the wrong person.
Avoidance causes less pain than cruel, callous partners.
I choose less pain.
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