After a recent episode of hypomania, it's become quite clear how depression affects me each day. I can compare depression to not being depressed. Can't say that I ever feel "good" or healthy, just not depressed.
I'm back to feeling my old self. I don't feel well. My body hurts all over in a nonspecific way. I'm dragging, tired, lethargic and just want to lay down and do nothing. Food has no taste again. The projects I started hypomanic are sitting around half done. Probably be that way for awhile. I don't want to talk to anybody or leave my house.
There is no thrill, ambition, goal to look forward to. Things simple are.
When the deck is stacked against you, learn to do the best with what you have. Suicide is never the answer. It's the chickens way out and the bastards win if you give up. Never give up. You have no idea how many people would be negatively impacted by a sudden death.
Accept that this is life. It may very well change for the positive at any moment.
Do the best you can and just be okay with it. Seek help and assistance whenever possible. I'm not pleased that I need so much assistance but I realize it's going to make my life easier.
It's like, there are therapists, counselors, ministers, friends, support groups...their job, sometimes their delight is in help others. Keep them honest. Make them work.
I don't know...it doesn't seem fair but life is rarely fair.
Some people have it easy, don't begrudge them.
Each day is a challenge. No one truly understands the struggle unless it's someone else who shares the same issue.
Depression is real. The struggle is huge. Don't give up. Share your story and your feelings.
It's okay...its just what I have to deal with.
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